Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)

Premise: Autobots vs Decepticons again, with Sam Witwicky along for the ride.

Stars: Shia LeBouef * Megan Fox * Josh Duhamel * Tyrese Gibson

Story: A couple of years after the first movie, the Autobots and a multi-national team of soldiers have been hunting down Decepticon cells across Earth. Sam Witwicky has gone through school and is about to go to college. Unfortunately, a sliver of the AllSpark remained in Sam's jacket and imprints its language on Sam's mind. The Decepticons resurrect Megatron, contact their progenitor - the Fallen - and set out to recover that knowledge from Sam. Along the way, the Autobots have a falling out with a bureaucrat over apparent suspicions of loyalty once fighting breaks out.

Review: Honestly, this movie will keep your seat vibrating with noise, explosions, small thrills, and some gratuitous skin. But it will simultaneously kill brain cells. There should be a Surgeon General's warning on this film for anyone watching this film sober.

There are enough plot holes to drive a planet through. There are enough offensive stereotypes to generously offend every member of the audience - all ages and all races. This film is a literal 'screw you' to every fan of the original series, even while it throws in everything under the sun.

For a start:

There's the Decepticon Pretender which is a Species ripoff. There are giant steel testes. I say again, giant steel testes. Decepticons which previously were impervious to all but sabot rounds are now killed by random small arms fire. Autobot commandos - including Optimus 'the idealist' - hunt down Decepticons who have not harmed anyone - when it is later shown that Decepticons can choose to be Autobots if allowed to. A small Decepticon acts like a hormonal pooch. Two Autobots talk in hip-hop slang and have gold teeth. Transformer 'heaven' acts as a deux ex machina to save the day. A transformer with a beard and cane. A transformer that has been around for 10,000 years and is a SR-71 blackbird. Sam & Co. walk through the National Air and Space Museum in Washington, DC and ending up in an airplane graveyard - all of which are in the American Southwest. A key Decepticon from the first movie is brought in momentarily, only to be immediately be killed. Time is literally wasted on stoner humor of the wrong variety - did we need to see Mrs. Witwicky get high?

And lastly, a very unnecessary thong which illustrated Mr. Bay showing his ass to the audience.

I don't think everything is wrong with this film and I can point out a few good things. Robots fight. There are attractive people in the film. The lighting is masterful as always in a Bay film. Robots fight.

Overall: Bad

Other Sites: Wikipedia * IMDb * AllMovie * Rotten Tomatoes